plastic rap

by ronk.

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credits

released May 31, 2016

music by ronk.
additional vocals by Hype Flex, Whamber, The Champ and Wizard Business.

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license

all rights reserved

about

ronk. Oakland, California

i sketch, i doodle, and i dabble in musical bits. most lyrics are NSFW.

contact / help

Contact ronk.

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Track Name: (why i am a) DOPE ASS RAPPER
I bet ya never thought that I could be a dope ass rapper (well)
I'm here to tell ya I'm a dope ass rapper (yes)
I brought a four point list
to help you get the gist
when I insist that I'm
a fuckin BOSS

(POINT 1)
I got the lyrics of a skilled MC
I'm a poet, and I know it so you don't have to fuckin' tell me ("I know")
I got rhymes-that simultaneously start/ and then stop-crimes
I'm a one man procedural drama
(dun dun)
the kinda drama that one-normally reserves for your mama
by the way, how's your mama? is she goooood??
oh, did I forget to mention that I went ahead
f**ked your mama
(and it was so good!)

"Uh excuse me, but what does sex with my mother have to do with you being a good rapper?"


(POINT 2)
I'm humble, to a fault. When I stumble
(pfft, IF I stumble) I make sure to not just-mumble
some phoney fakeass apol-ogy,
when I really screw up, I really say sorry.

And of all the things I currently own, and may I remind you I own a lot of really nice stuff (it's expensive) (wow)
I own UP
to my mistakes
when I'm not making sick ass beeeeeeats.

(POINT 3)
I got sick ass beats!
The ones that keep-heads bobbin while you're popping up
outta seats
when the hook repeats
shake everything above the feet
(these beats do INCREDIBLE things to your butt (I'm just sayin'))

Now...repeat after me
butts
butts!
Butts.
Butts!
Butts!!
BUTTS!
BUTTS!!
(BUTTS)
Butts!!!!!
(BUTTS)
(Butts.)

(Point 4)
I can work a crowd.
Now let's make it loud
Scream!
(((Wooooooo!))
Point proven.
Track Name: K1ng 0f th3 pr0gr@M
there i was, in the center of the mainframe
avoidin’ encryptions without raising suspicions
from this lame ass excuse they call
network security
and in less than a hurry, i’m logged in


i’m hacker, gone phishing’ with a capital P,
elite with two 3’s, not some script kiddie from IRC,
IRL i fight with brute force attacks
takin’ payloads by the truckload using expert cracks.

and with the stroke of a key,
from a scrambled IP
i dox everyone who’s ever been a jerk to me


I’m the King of the Program
(yeah i’m that friggin’ man)
Bill gates got nothin’ on me
I know, cuz i broke into his personal PC


I’m the king of the program
i took your code and i
threw it in the commode
i figured you wanted your shit in the toilet
where it belongs

all right.

((now that thats done, it's time to have a little fun
trollin' tools on social media))

...let's see here...


There i was, in the center of an online debate
about injustice and intolerance and like
all of us-
cis-gendered white boys
who only download anime,
i felt like i had something to say.

I unleash
a series of posts
condemning all the sheeple
who were praising other people
who used "facts" and "figures" and "graphs"
and all the data they could show
(but don’t they know??)
I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate here, bro.

I said,
“What about white dudes?”
I said,
“What about straight guys?”
“You talk about ‘black lives’,
but really shouldn’t “ALL” lives matter? (groan)
and for that matter,
why are you all pissed at me?
Is it cuz i take things super personally
when discussing our diversity?
FUCK YOU!!!

I got banned.
So I hacked their phones and sent the pics to 4chan.
Jerks.

~I’m the King of the Program~
(yeah i’m that friggin’ man)
S J W’s got nothin’ on me
I live the good life on a laptop, being -un-P-C

~I’m the King of the Program ~
I’m the king of the whole…wide…web
U mad bro?
L O L
Track Name: ARE WE THE SAME: ACT I: THE LAST DAYS OF DINO
Yo, listen to me, MC Diplodocus, (aww)
I grow fern, get turnt and flow the sickest
I snatch raptors and show em the rapture
and after they have to give
props to the master (mmm yeahh)

And i don't wanna brag (but sometimes i have to)
and I'm a one dino man (but sometimes i have two!)
And if you want some herb, i got some of that too
I'm like a T Rex with bird flu
You don't like me? I'll fuckin eat you.
I got strong legs
and a big mouth
and a long dick
and sharp claws
And a nice cock
and sharp teeth
and a large maw
and fat balls
and short arms
and a shorter fuse
(did i mention the size of my dick??) HUGE!!

Pass me that bong, i'll turn my lungs into a tar-pit
and turn around and toss my cookies on the car-pit
this Conor-taurus crashed my car, just tryin' to park-it
but it's all right, he's got malt liquor from the mar-ket
Got a chest
in the back
full of better than treasure.
Cold beverage for you b**ches
to enjoy at your leisure.
Grab a tri-cera-hop
or a water (whatever)
cuz you know that i'm happy
as long as we're all together.

They say this party's fossilized,
I'm like "Nah man, that's coprolite."
I'm goin out on top tonight,
gotta sixty page bucket list to write
and i'm checkin' fuckin' boxes,
fuckin' anything that walks-ses.
Flies, slithers crawls,
they can nestle up to my balls.

Hey you there, Deinonychus,
here's my dick, get onto this.
You heard it's the apocalypse,
this rock is right on top of this
party and we ain't stoppin it (no we can't stop it)


We are saints.
We are sinners.
We are monsters.
We are winners.
We won't stop
until the end.
One last party,
with dino friends.

Oooh, dino friends.
Ooh-oooHhhh. Oooahohhh.
Track Name: ARE WE THE SAME: ACT II: SURVIVAL OF THE CHILLIST
the conservation of mass implies that matter cannot be created or destroyed
only broken down and spread out
rearranged and repurposed
(nothing ever really ends)
Track Name: ARE WE THE SAME: Act III: PARTY LIKE A D.I.N.O.
It's chaos theory, bitch.
Life finds a way (to get FUCKED UP)

Tonight we're gonna party like it's prehistoric times,
We're gonna smoke out of volcanoes, spitting out some scorching rhymes.
We pterodactyls, tearing up the joint,
(no brontosaurus bros)
Us clever girls are locking down this park,
and following the D.I.N.O. code.

***
Don't ever give up
Ignore all the haters
Never settle for less
Only you control what's next
****

and if you take this all to heart
then you'll be good-to-go
soo hold on to your butts
and let's get nuts
it's D-I-N-O.

****

DON'T EVER GIVE UP
IGNORE ALL THE HATE
NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS
ONLY YOU CONTROL YOUR FATE

****

D-I-N-O